Months ago, a friend shared this quote with me. God powerfully used him as he spoke into my life and calling during a time of crisis. It was a turning point for me that I will never forget.

He spoke about the people I would reach through advocacy and creating a safe place for people to heal. But, we both knew my healing came first.

Faith, therapy, and a few EMDR sessions, with more in the future, had to become my new routine. Your good friends will deliver good food because they know you are not eating. Chips, salsa, and safety are a solid recipe for recovery. It might seem like overkill on phone calls, but your supportive family knows how much you have suffered and they just want you to be okay.

Most of the time, we feel behind in the healing process, but we are not.
Trauma does not tell time. It doesn’t respect your timeline or anyone else’s. It takes a willingness to wait. The integrity Ann wisely spoke of does not require you to defend yourself for making decisions that lead to safety and restoration. And it certainly does not worry about the misinformation of others. Be brave enough to listen to your pain instead of worrying about what others may think.

To those waiting and doing the hard work to heal, remember that trauma has no timeframe. It has nothing to do with forgiveness—it’s about safety. You can’t heal in the same place that broke you. You need a space place for reset while you get the help you need.

To those leading, teaching, and cranking out content, we desperately need more trauma-informed resources for relationships and to be cautious about the books/help we recommend. I’m sad to say some of the books I might have recommended 10 years ago are the ones I would recommend burning today.

The people madly in love with you want you to be better than okay, even if it means they must step up. Our trauma doesn’t just affect us, it’s hard for our loved ones, too. More than anything, people need to know they are safe and worth all the time it takes to heal. And, others need time for correction and encouragement to know they are capable of changing and confronting unhealthy habits

“Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” (John 13:35 NLT)

Much love to you,

Jennifer Renee