Sometimes survival mode makes you feel like a slacker. But it isn’t true.

How do you step back in the ring with a punching bag for a heart? Maybe you’re just now starting to feel somewhat whole again, so how do you protect all the soft parts and prevent another knockout?

How do you step into the ring when your hygiene is a little sketchy, and it takes so much effort to get out of bed let alone shower? Thank God for dry shampoo, right?

In the movie Million Dollar Baby, Hillary Swank’s character learns the most important lesson in boxing: “The best way to deliver a punch is to step back. But step back too far and you’re not fighting at all.”

When we are in the biggest fight of our lives, there is a moment when we step back and realize that we have no idea how to win the match. Nor do we have any idea how to prepare for it.

We have stepped so far back that we are not even in the ring. It’s hard to fight when you feel absolutely nothing. It’s hard to fight when you feel everything, too. It’s just all so dang hard.

This is where we live- in the in-between. The in-and-out of the fight. You are too close, or you’ve stepped too far back. But worse is when we find ourselves in the cheap seats and on the brink of giving up.

The in-between is where depression and anxiety linger. It’s in the waiting. The tender longing to be anywhere but where you are now. Long to feel anything but what you are feeling in the now.

Depression is real, but it doesn’t mean you’re weak. You are not a bother to the people you love. This is real and you are brave. You don’t need permission from anyone to heal. That’s a you-and-Jesus thing.

You don’t have to explain, overcompensate, or come up with one more excuse. You are in the in-between and working as hard as your sweet heart possibly can. Don’t let shame win this round or make you feel you’re a lost cause.

When your inner mean girl whispers, “Try harder,” you can trust God and surrender everything you are trying so desperately to control. Sister, lighten that load and trade it for His.

Even when you’re not feeling it, He is working behind the scenes. He didn’t promise us butterflies and rainbows Christianity, He said that in this world we will have many troubles. But take heart, he has overcome the world. Those troubles are no match for our God.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

You can look to a God who trades our weaknesses and replaces them with His strength. The fight is still on and you are still in it. Just stay in the ring.

You are so loved, I’m so glad you’re here.

Much love,

Jennifer Renee