A lot of people are applauding them, many are not. It’s easy for people to talk about mental health and paint them in a negative light, especially when they have zero knowledge of what that kind of pressure does to your mental health. I have a lot of thoughts after watching the interview with Prince Harry and Meghan like everyone else. But, I did not know it would impact me or that I would identify with them at all. But I did. 

When a woman becomes healthy and feels safe and supported, she peels back every layer of her entrapment. Then, she sees clearly when the cracks in her heart and mind began. In the peeling back process, she rarely uncovers the knowledge or confirmation that she is, in fact, crazy. That’s the easy answer. But that’s not going to work because a healthy woman can point to the things that were driving her there and make the changes she needs for her well-being. But this is where it gets tricky. Your opinions of her and feelings about how she handles her not-crazy, capable-self are no longer needed. Your services are no longer required. Opinions and comparisons are no longer filed as evidence against her as she builds herself back up. They become obsolete. Whether she is celebrated or sneered at, she’s going to be juuuust fine. 

I read this quote and felt like it said a lot with very few words. (Sorry for the swear word. It’s not my quote, yet still quotable.)

‘I don’t mind struggling with you, but I’ll be damned if I’m struggling because of you.’  (unknown)

The ‘struggling because of you’ part is where healed people pack a new bag and decide what they are going to carry into the next season of their life. So dragging you will not work. Trying to drag her in a direction that makes sense to you will not work. It’s the shoulder-to-shoulder, ‘I am in this with you’ journey. 

If you push someone hard enough and tell them they need to toughen up and develop a thicker skin, you might not like the byproduct when they are whole and healed. Strong and sane. Soft, but not stupid. They become too smart to go back to the easy to manipulate version of themselves. 

I am currently writing a book about mental health, our faith, and how the church can take a more active role in offering support minus all the bad cliches and bootstrap talk with a spin that will hopefully be insightful, honest, entertaining, and generally, something that won’t trigger you but highlight the bravery it takes in getting help and walking away from threats to your mental health. Understandably, that is why I have been MIA on my website and sometimes social media. It’s been a hard year for all of us and personally, it’s been sometimes more than I can bear but God …

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

(Psalm 73: 26)

Everything in our personal life and world was magnified with a global pandemic, we had no choice but to pay attention to how things were affecting our mental health and seek God on how to honor him as we navigated the unknown. When everything was on hold, we had a genuine opportunity to see what changes need to be made as we experience a re-entry, of sorts, into our new abnormal post-covid life. 

Life naturally, abruptly changed the way I approached writing about this topic. I wrote from a place of, “What on earth do I have to lose by talking about this openly and being REAL?” Honestly, a lot. But it’s not about me, and that’s the whole point for getting out of bed in the morning.

As I began peeling back my layers, asking hard questions about mental health and faith, I found a distinct line of questioning that shook me. I expected answers, but the writing process got a major course correction. You could call it covid-clarity and the aftermath of removing the excess from the calendar and not missing the time-suckers, the social ‘shoulds’ and happiness-erasers. Before the shutdown, I was in the biggest burnout of my life. I go into more detail in my book, but my questioning looked like this after talking to so many people who were unearthing the same thoughts and feelings:

What if … the thing that broke you wasn’t a mental health problem, but an occupational hazard that led you there? 

What if you knew that your relationship with your spouse made your significant other ill, or that your job was the root cause of your mental illness and symptomatic—not genetic predisposition—but a result and byproduct of neglect, would you change? 

Would you change the way you work and allow more time for rest and put boundaries and safeguards in place?

Or just continue the steady decline and call it holy?

Would you just say this is how it has always been and deal with it? Would you fade out of the picture and tell yourself they’d be better off without you? 

Or would you say, this is how it has always been and it’s no longer working for the healed and healthy version of myself?

Y’all, that’s how a girl gets her groove back. She gets the help she needs with the audacious hope that doesn’t discredit her worth and value because she doesn’t fit a mold. But, this isn’t about a mold, staying in line, dishonoring anyone in authority over her, establishments, or saying, “You knew what you were signing up for so suck it up and stay small, btw, you look fab with a fascinator and sealed lips.”

Meghan Markle wanted to end her life. Period. That’s the biggest headline to me. This girl needed help and with humility and desperation, she asked for it and was denied it. WHAT ON EARTH???

But, someone loved her enough to step in, completely support her, and made drastic changes to make sure her story didn’t end in her darkest moment. She was more important than titles or duty, and so are you. Your life matters.

If we please anyone on earth, it never seems to last long, so I’m sticking with Jesus. If it wasn’t for Him, I have no idea where I would be.

Much love to you,

Jennifer Renee

“He is your constant source of stability; he abundantly provides safety and great wisdom; he gives this to those who fear him.” (Is 33: 6 NET