For months, I could not write or finish this project that I’m working on. It’s still not there yet…and that’s okay because I’m living this message right now. It’s the tightrope and the net. It’s the free-fall and the not yet. It’s the waiting season that none of us are good at.

Sometimes survival makes you feel like a slacker. But it isn’t true. Yesterday, I kicked anxiety in the face, not that it wasn’t present because it was there. Mercy, all the nervous habits. The fear, the hesitation. All the things we try to avoid at all costs.

How do you step back in the ring with a punching bag for heart? I get it. You are just now starting to feel somewhat whole again, so how do you protect all the soft parts and prevent another knockout? How do you step into the ring when your hygiene is a little sketchy, and it takes so much effort to get out of bed let alone shower? (Thank God for dry shampoo.)

In the movie Million Dollar Baby Hillary Swank’s character learns the most important lesson in boxing: “The best way to deliver a punch is to step back. But step back too far and you’re not fighting at all.” In the biggest fight of our lives is the moment where we step back and realize that we have no idea how to win this match or even prepare for it. And there is a sinking feeling that we aren’t fighting at all. We have stepped so far back that we are not even in the ring. But it’s so hard to fight when you feel absolutely nothing. It’s hard to fight when you feel everything, too. It’s just all so dang hard.

This is where we live- in the in-between. The in-and-out of the fight. You are too close. Or you’ve stepped too far back. Or you are in the cheap seats and on the brink of giving up. And then there are the runners.

The in-between is where depression and anxiety linger. It’s in the waiting. The tender longer to be anywhere but where you are now.

Depression is real, but it doesn’t mean you’re weak. Mental health is a huge issue, but that doesn’t mean you are a bother to the people you love. This is real and you are brave. You don’t need permission from anyone to heal. That’s a you and Jesus thing.

You don’t have to explain, overcompensate, or come up with one more excuse. You are in the in-between and working as hard as your sweet heart possibly can. So, don’t let shame win this round.

When others whisper, “try harder,” the Lord wants you to trust Him and surrender everything you are trying so desperately to control. Sister, lighten that load and trade it for His.

Be the game changer. Change the way you look at every problem with an assurance that God will help you. Even when you’re not feeling it, He is working behind the scenes. He didn’t promise us a butterflies and rainbow Christianity, He said that in this world we will have many troubles. But take heart, those troubles are no match for our God.

Be the game changer by looking to a God who trades our weaknesses and replaces it with His strength. The fight is still on. And, you are still in it. Warrior up, baby.