I’m not exactly sure when I released my death grip on perfection, but when I did the floodgates of my heart opened and made room for better space. I was trying to be good at everything…I mean, everything. Yet, I was missing the sweetest parts of who God designed me to be. I was spinning my wheels so fast thinking I was doing noble and godly things. And, I was but I wasn’t doing the right things.
I was chronically distracted and dissatisfied. Trying to be good at everything meant I wasn’t really good at anything at all because my life was undone and unfinished.
I realized I wasn’t listening to God because I was too preoccupied by my fears and what ifs.
You know those people you are trying so hard to please? They can’t see the real you if you are too busy trying to be the perfect version of yourself. The messy you is pretty spectacular. That girl who messes up and laughs at herself? Be that girl, she’s much easier to like.
I’m starting a new adventure in my life and to be honest with you, I’m scared to death. I’m wondering if I’ll feel “mom guilt” from working so hard and being gone more. I’m worried that I’ll be too tired to flirt with my husband. I’m worried that my stress-acne will never clear up and that I’ll have to buy zit cream until I’m sixty-five. I’m worried that I’ll be that annoying girl trying to be good at everything again and miserable.
But, I can’t focus on all the things I might suck at. I only have two goals right now: show up and be faithful. That’s it and that’s enough. I’m not going to be able to do it all, so I’m taking that off the table. I’m taking it one day at a time and figuring it out as I go.
It’s impossible to give into worry when I am trusting God to wrap me up in strength. Putting on strength is a choice I make daily to chase away the fears and unrealistic expectations.
We don’t have to be perfect; we just have to be available.
When a woman wears strength, she perceives what she has to offer is good. God has given us such good things to work with so maybe just showing up and being faithful is more than enough to start with.
Much love,
Jennifer Renee
She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night. (Proverbs 31:17-18 NKJV)
Lovely!! And so true. This is perfect. -;)
Malinda
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Thanks, Malinda! Hugs!!
Beautiful, Jennifer! I can completely relate to everything here: the perfectionist personality, the stepping out to do new things and being scared. Go out and get whatever it is God has called you to do with enthusiasm. I\’m sure he will reward you. 🙂
Thank you so much for your encouraging words and taking the time to comment! You have made my night! Blessings!
\”..be available\”, yes there you have it. God can accomplish so much more through His perfection than I can through mine. Annnd…I love your photo composition; colors, font, angle ~ delightful!
Thank you so much, Lisa!
Hey there Jennifer… You just spoke right to my heart with this post…. distraction, dissatisfaction… unfocused and unfinished… It\’s like you\’ve been to my house or in my head!! I am that girl too… I never thought about all this coming from my trying to be good at too many things though I think God has been dropping subtle hints lately! Thank you for your transparency!! You\’re not the only one still buying zit cream either! Blessings on you girl and I\’d love to hear more about your new adventure?? ♥
P.S. LoVe the turquoise couch in your blog banner… : )
Heather,
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I know this is much harder for the recovering perfectionists, like us. But, we really don\’t have to be good at everything. I wish I would have learned this much sooner. 😉 Hugs to you!
You\’re welcome Miss Jennifer! xo